There Are No Baked Potato Chips In Palm Beach
Published 2016
The Southampton Review
DASH | 2021 | V.14
There is one market (which isn’t super)
two high-end gourmet shops
and a “convenience wall”
at the singular gas station on the island
It’s a Sunoco (the gas station)
but it could be called “Exxon” or “Mobil” or “Frank and Betty’s”
since it’s the only place to fill up your Eldorado
or get a fresh Nestea or a small glass jar of Sanka
But none of these places offer baked potato chips
It’s not conjecture or second-hand supposition
I found this out myself
when I was visiting my mother last spring
Developed in the 1800s
potato chips became the most common snack
food in America, surpassing the peanut
sometime in the 1930s
I don’t even eat potato chips that often
and I rarely visit my mother
But if you have to eat potato chips
baked are healthier by far
As for visiting my mother
there is no known health benefit
to that I think but I go nevertheless
trying to stay upwind of most smoke and vitriol
So many people have issues with their parents
you’d think someone would have solved this by now
like they did with potato chips (which were once bad for you)
but are currently less so (except, it seems, in Palm Beach)
About
Awards
Columbia Journal: First Place Winner, 2020 Nonfiction Award for autobiographical essay “HYBRID”
Beyond Words Literary Magazine: Winner, 2020 Dream Challenge “Kaden has Covid”
The Maine Review: Hon. Mention, 2021 Embody Award for essay “HIDEOUS”
Sunspot Lit: Finalist, 2020 Inception Contest Flash Fiction “Before and After”
Streetlight Magazine: Hon. Mention, 2020 Essay Contest “Finding Barbie’s Shoes”
Gival Press: Finalist, Oscar Wilde Award 2021 for poem “Self-Portrait at Age 9 as Albert Cashier”
Craft Literary: Hon. Mention, 2021 Flash Fiction Award
North American Review: Finalist, 2020 Kurt Vonnegut Prize
Get in Touch
Recent Work
The First Time I Consider Ending My Life I Am Four – Room Magazine
The Day After Wikipedia Still Lists Her in Present Tense – The Southampton Review
The Name Dropper – The Maine Review
My Earliest Self is a Boy… – Electric Lit
T – The Rumpus
Denny and Me – Passengers Journal
Small-Town Nonsense – The East Hampton Star
A Conversation with Morgan Talty – The Rumpus
My Avatar (aka afab perpetrates heteronormative relationship) – Holy Gossip
What Goes Around – EAST Magazine
The Liar – The Normal School
I Drew a House – The Rumpus
More
HYBRID – Columbia Journal
Blended Family – The Southampton Review
There are No Baked Potato Chips in Palm Beach – Dash Literary Journal
Last Night I Dreamed My Mother Was Carl Reiner and I Was Sad She Died – Bangalore Review
Time Will Tell – The Fiddlehead (Excerpted from Winter 2023 Print Journal)
Parallel Family – Harvard Review
Finding Barbie’s Shoes – Streetlight Magazine
Deformed – RFD Magazine
#2486 – The Southampton Review
On Drinking – Stonecoast Review
My Last Dress – The Sun Magazine
Reviews and Interviews
Misperceptions, Assumptions, and Slurs: Jackie Domenus's No Offense – The Rumpus
A Conversation with Morgan Talty – The Rumpus
Naming Stars: An Interview with Andrés N. Ordorica – The Massachusetts Review
Interview by J Brooke of Hotel Cuba’s author Aaron Hamburger – Streetlight Magazine
J Brooke’s Reading Recommendations – The Fiddlehead
Two New Series Bravely Lose The Labels – Incluvie Film Review
Review of Melissa Febos’ Girlhood – Glint Journal
Review of Susan Conley’s Landslide – Streetlight Magazine
Interview with Massachusetts Review
Interview with Stonecoast Review
There Are No Baked Potato Chips In Palm Beach
DASH | 2021 | V.14
There is one market (which isn’t super)
two high-end gourmet shops
and a “convenience wall”
at the singular gas station on the island
It’s a Sunoco (the gas station)
but it could be called “Exxon” or “Mobil” or “Frank and Betty’s”
since it’s the only place to fill up your Eldorado
or get a fresh Nestea or a small glass jar of Sanka
But none of these places offer baked potato chips
It’s not conjecture or second-hand supposition
I found this out myself
when I was visiting my mother last spring
Developed in the 1800s
potato chips became the most common snack
food in America, surpassing the peanut
sometime in the 1930s
I don’t even eat potato chips that often
and I rarely visit my mother
But if you have to eat potato chips
baked are healthier by far
As for visiting my mother
there is no known health benefit
to that I think but I go nevertheless
trying to stay upwind of most smoke and vitriol
So many people have issues with their parents
you’d think someone would have solved this by now
like they did with potato chips (which were once bad for you)
but are currently less so (except, it seems, in Palm Beach)
Recent Work
The First Time I Consider Ending My Life I Am Four – Room Magazine
The Day After Wikipedia Still Lists Her in Present Tense – The Southampton Review
The Name Dropper – The Maine Review
My Earliest Self is a Boy… – Electric Lit
T – The Rumpus
Denny and Me – Passengers Journal
Small-Town Nonsense – The East Hampton Star
A Conversation with Morgan Talty – The Rumpus
My Avatar (aka afab perpetrates heteronormative relationship) – Holy Gossip
What Goes Around – EAST Magazine
The Liar – The Normal School
I Drew a House – The Rumpus
More
HYBRID – Columbia Journal
Blended Family – The Southampton Review
There are No Baked Potato Chips in Palm Beach – Dash Literary Journal
Last Night I Dreamed My Mother Was Carl Reiner and I Was Sad She Died – Bangalore Review
Time Will Tell – The Fiddlehead (Excerpted from Winter 2023 Print Journal)
Parallel Family – Harvard Review
Finding Barbie’s Shoes – Streetlight Magazine
Deformed – RFD Magazine
#2486 – The Southampton Review
On Drinking – Stonecoast Review
My Last Dress – The Sun Magazine
Reviews and Interviews
Misperceptions, Assumptions, and Slurs: Jackie Domenus's No Offense – The Rumpus
A Conversation with Morgan Talty – The Rumpus
Naming Stars: An Interview with Andrés N. Ordorica – The Massachusetts Review
Interview by J Brooke of Hotel Cuba’s author Aaron Hamburger – Streetlight Magazine
J Brooke’s Reading Recommendations – The Fiddlehead
Two New Series Bravely Lose The Labels – Incluvie Film Review
Review of Melissa Febos’ Girlhood – Glint Journal
Review of Susan Conley’s Landslide – Streetlight Magazine
Interview with Massachusetts Review
Interview with Stonecoast Review
About
Awards
Columbia Journal: First Place Winner, 2020 Nonfiction Award for autobiographical essay “HYBRID”
Beyond Words Literary Magazine: Winner, 2020 Dream Challenge “Kaden has Covid”
The Maine Review: Hon. Mention, 2021 Embody Award for essay “HIDEOUS”
Sunspot Lit: Finalist, 2020 Inception Contest Flash Fiction “Before and After”
Streetlight Magazine: Hon. Mention, 2020 Essay Contest “Finding Barbie’s Shoes”
Gival Press: Finalist, Oscar Wilde Award 2021 for poem “Self-Portrait at Age 9 as Albert Cashier”
Craft Literary: Hon. Mention, 2021 Flash Fiction Award
North American Review: Finalist, 2020 Kurt Vonnegut Prize