There Are No Baked Potato Chips In Palm Beach

DASH | 2021 | V.14DASH | 2021 | V.14

There is one market (which isn’t super)
two high-end gourmet shops
and a “convenience wall”
at the singular gas station on the island

It’s a Sunoco (the gas station)
but it could be called “Exxon” or “Mobil” or “Frank and Betty’s”
since it’s the only place to fill up your Eldorado
or get a fresh Nestea or a small glass jar of Sanka

But none of these places offer baked potato chips
It’s not conjecture or second-hand supposition
I found this out myself
when I was visiting my mother last spring

Developed in the 1800s
potato chips became the most common snack
food in America, surpassing the peanut
sometime in the 1930s

I don’t even eat potato chips that often
and I rarely visit my mother
But if you have to eat potato chips
baked are healthier by far

As for visiting my mother
there is no known health benefit
to that I think but I go nevertheless
trying to stay upwind of most smoke and vitriol

So many people have issues with their parents
you’d think someone would have solved this by now
like they did with potato chips (which were once bad for you)
but are currently less so (except, it seems, in Palm Beach)